"What are the provisions?"
"None, just internal stability"
"That's not possible for anyone, yet"
"True, that's why very few go there"
"What's its use, anyway?"
"Mandatory training. You have to pass through there sometime in the future..."
"IT will attack you"
"In what form?"
"In the worse form possible"
"Suggest possible lines of action..."
"Then you are expendable, at least for now. More training will be required"
"Can't you decode IT?"
"The decoding is the realization that you and them are one"
"But that includes so many possibilities, that it is utterly unimaginable to conceive of. I mean, thesis and antithesis exist inside the same kernel?"
"Yes, but only in the state of one they realize that and they dissolve nicely into perfect wisdom"
"Let me have a peek..."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Pull me out if it gets too much..."
"ok. Just for a while. Open the gate..."
"Fuck, its attacking me!! get me out of here!..."
"What IS it that's attacking you? Try to specify it."
"It's myself! I am attacking myself. GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
"Be more specific. WHY is IT attacking you?"
"The unknown side of me is attacking the known side.. It's hard to perceive. It is like trying to consume the rest. Yet, it is nonsensical, if I were to picture it, it would look like I was trying to eat my body. Gradually I would run out of body, so I would have to start consuming the very consumer organs, like stomach, head, until it reached a stage of an infinite self-winding spiral, which curls on itself, only a mouth remaining..."
"Lie still, don't fight it..."
"I can't lie still, it is moving against me"
"You mean, you are moving against yourself?"
"Yes, some particular realizations are attacking the rest of the consciousness, and try to obliterate it."
"Have you maybe thought that THIS is the very initial inertia of the system? The system does NOT want life to start. THIS is its inertia. We had to fight to win over it. You have to win over yours. What's attacking you is your own inertia into the universe..."
"Let me see it again..."
"Ok, here you go..."
"Its showing me things. If I think positive it negates the thought. If I think negative, it again negates the thought. It requires perfect stillness. It doesn't want me to think. It wants to do all the thinking itself."
"Don't try to define it. It cannot be defined. Don't try to label anything from what it shows to you. They are just possibilities. Vacuous, extant possibilities. Just browse, without processing..."
"Fuck, its moving against me again. Get me out"
"What happened? You tried to process it?"
"You cannot reason with the fucking thing. Is it insane?"
"Insane has no meaning to it. It is both and neither. It is the start of insanity and the start of logic. The very seed."
"Does it love?"
"Love has no meaning to it. It is both love and hate. The seed for both"
"Get me in again..."
"No, you defined it. It changed again into something else and will attack you. Be careful.."
"It can take various forms, I see...Shit, I thought of myself again. Here it comes..."
"Don't think of yourself. Just let yourself float..."
"Don't think at all..."
"Cannot do that. Thought is inherent..."
"Not to it. IT does not think. It just DOES. Perfectly, quietly, without remorse. Without feeling. Without guilt. Without fear. Now, do you see it? There, take a peek..."
"I see a baby..."
"You WANT to see that. IT is NOT a baby."
"Can we ever understand it?"
"No. Because we have been made from inside of it. We cannot peek from outside of the system."
"Can we communicate with it?"
"No. It does not communicate with us. We are totally insignificant to it. It acknowledges us in the same way we acknowledge a molecule"
"What happens if I send a message to it?"
"The message will bounce back to you. If you say "I hate you", you will hear: "I hate you". If you say: "I love u", you will hear: "I love u"."
"This is very disappointing, to not be able to communicate with it..."
"I will tell you a secret: Imagine the sea. Imagine how life could have started in it. Can u?"
"No, I cannot"
"Well, then you are not significant enough to communicate with it"
"Fuck, it's so sad. WHEN do we become significant?"
"Millions upon millions of years, my friend, millions of years are yet in front of you... Can you hear it inside this Chopin Etude?"
"Yes, I can. It is truly wonderful. It is fucking wonderful."
"You got a small glimpse of what "IT" is. Don't ask for more, because there IS no more..."
"I have to go to it...I am tired of this existence"
"So what else is new? Everybody wants that. Are you going to quit that easily? Why did you ask to come here then?"
"So that I may be given a chance to DO something?"
"Well, here's your chance..."
"Fuck that. I cannot do ANYTHING. Nearly everything is impossible"
"Or so you think..."
"Whatever, can't I just get out of here?"
"No, you cannot get out of here, unless its your time..."
"Where do you want to go? If you are hoping to go to IT, you are VERY mistaken. You will be rejected by your very own standards as of yet, not to mention that you will be self-consumed really quick.."
"Is there some way to draw energy from it?"
"It distributes according to specific rules. What have you done so far to deserve energy from it?"
"Well, be happy with what you have then..."
"What will happen if I myself cut my chord?"
"You will be thrown back here, again, and quite simply, you will waste 33 years. As simple as that..."
"Who are you?"
"Never mind that. There has to be some sort of connection between us and "IT". Let's say, I am in an advisory board of sorts..."
"Are you significant?"
""I am NOT" as "I am" at the same time, therefore I cannot be either significant or insignificant. Try to understand, please.."
"This is all very confusing, you know..."
"It is confusing NOW. It will be clear LATER..."
"Like... in 10 billion years?"
"You know what? I think this is a fucking stupid trick of this anomalous "creature" to keep us imprisoned here for ever.."
"Well, WHAT the fuck is it then?
"Haven't I told you yet? You can never define it properly. Any kind of theory you will have will always be incomplete..."
"Well, the theory that I feel right now having is that YOU and IT don't actually exist, and fuck you both..."
Back to Writing